Engaging Healthier Masculinities

Tracey Cheung

With backlash to diversity programs and masculinity influencers on the increase, it’s time to change the conversation and ditch the male stereotypes to challenge the status quo

A recent TikTok showing a bunch of blokes saying goodnight to each other on social media went viral. It might not sound revolutionary, but it made an important point about challenging the strong, silent masculine stereotype.

It’s part of a shift that is very much needed and potentially game-changing for gender equity, as a range of leading masculinity experts point out.

Finding the most effective language and messages to encourage healthier masculinities has potential to help tackle gender inequity in many key arenas – including violence against women. And it can start with workplace prevention programs, conversations at work, a different angle in media stories and role modelling.

Our Watch data shows the pressure on men to be tough and stoic is still alarmingly prevalent. The effects of these ideals manifest in several areas of life, including work and home. Nearly half of surveyed men felt pressure to be 'stereotypically manly', with the pressure most felt in the workplace and sporting clubs.

Men who uphold these stereotypical ideals are also 17 times more likely to report hitting their partner, according to the 2024 Man Box Study from The Men’s Project.

Traditional masculinity norms perpetuate gender inequities, such as the belief that men are naturally better leaders, are more competent than women and that women have greater responsibilities for parenting, says sociologist and professor at the Queensland University of Technology Michael Flood. There’s been some softening of ideals of masculinity, he adds: “For example, growing expectations that men will be involved in fathering, but at the same time, there is some backlash."

That includes in the workplace. A recent global survey by Work180 found that 21 per cent of men who said they supported gender diversity felt they were actually being discriminated against by DEI. Professor Flood says workplace prevention programs can play a role in making those forms of backlash less likely.

In a recent Our Watch panel discussion exploring the positive influence that media can have on men and masculinities, Respect Victoria research manager Dr Stephanie Lusby said there could be a positive influence in supporting men to see themselves as part of the solution in ending violence against women.

The Willing, Capable and Confident Report, (published from The Man Box 2024, a study led by The Men’s Project at Jesuit Social Services in partnership with Respect Victoria) revealed there's a willingness from many men in the study to participate in prevention.

Willing, Capable and Confident Report

Willing, Capable and Confident Report

Willing, Capable and Confident Report

Another panellist, Dr Hayley Boxall, a criminologist and research fellow at the Australian National University, said, "The research says language is really powerful in how we view, understand and accept these behaviours."

Using the wrong language could even potentially take the conversation backwards.

In the media, reports about gendered violence have evolved, as Dr Boxall describes, from being about good men who just snapped, possibly driven too far, perhaps suggesting that the victim was the problem. Then more recently, Dr Boxall says there has been the use of language such as “monsters or thugs or cowards”. But shaming language is unhelpful too, she adds. “We should be shaming the behaviour, not the person.”

"This really means that we need to provide alternative masculinities that people can aspire to."

She says The Man Cave's work with young men, through their emotional literacy programs, discusses alternative forms of masculinity.

As Daniel Paproth, lead facilitator The Man Cave says:  "Negative messages can drive boys further away.

"In our experience, messages that are positive, strengths-based, and seek to invite boys and men into the conversation, rather than speak about them, work best.

Daniel Paproth

"Strengths-based messages appeal to boys' innate strengths. We believe tapping into these, rather than telling boys what they're doing wrong, is a great way to empower them. As an example, when it comes to respect for women and their female peers, tapping into boys' inherent and passionate care for their loved ones is going to resonate with them more strongly than a PowerPoint presentation on 'toxic masculinity'."

And research shows that there are men who want to be part of the solution. Our Watch found 43 per cent of surveyed men said they personally could not do anything to change the rates of violence against women, although nearly four in five wanted to take action.

Our Watch sector engagement lead Natalie Russell told the webinar: “When it comes to messaging and framing, we know that people respond better to solutions-focused framing than to problem-focused framing.”

The experts agree that making an impact involves discussing the different ways of being a man or masculine, and showing that there is strength in showing vulnerability, opening up to others emotionally and asking for help.

Global director of Men’s Health Research at Movember and senior Research Fellow with Orygen at the University of Melbourne, Dr Zac Seidler says we need more stories about men in caregiving roles; men processing grief healthily, and men standing up against harmful behaviour among their peers.

He says it's about making change aspirational, not accusatory. "Here's how you can be.”

Professor Flood says for the minority of men who do sexually assault or coerce women and girls, one key driver of that behaviour is a notion of sexual entitlement. We need a communications campaign that addresses that social norm.

He also says research shows it's more effective to use people in campaigns that the audience can relate to. It can be effective to use high-profile celebrities, but it can also be effective to show everyday people.

Dr Boxall says there are examples of individuals doing reflective work who are very good at talking about it, "and I think we need to showcase them a little more." She cites Matt Brown from "She's Not Your Rehab" as a positive example. "He is so engaging and so good at talking about his reflective practice in terms of rethinking masculinity, his use of porn, all those kinds of things."

Trends like the TikTok of men wishing each other goodnight should be expanded upon for depth and connection, says Dr Seidler. “That is what men are longing for."